No Glory Blog: Let's Go 2014 Texas Rangers!

wow

It's kind of hard to hate the Cardinals after a game like that last night.

Elimination Day?

Tonight the Crew takes the home field in what could be their last game of the year. The Brewers' fans seem to be ready to crucify Roenicke for deciding to go with Marcum tonight, expecting bizarro-evil Mucram to show up again. I think it's the right decision. Pitching Yo! on short rest does not guarantee any kind of victory and also makes a possible Game Seven that much harder to win. Leo Durocher said, "You don't play for tomorrow. Tomorrow it might rain." Well, we've got a dome. There is nothing besides anecdotal speculation that says Marcum is injured and how soon we forget that he was actually the most consistently good pitcher all season!

Lastly, let's keep this in mind, please:

April 10: 6-5 over the Cubs
April 24: 4-1 over the Astros
May 15: 9-6 over the Pirates
May 22: 3-1 over the Rockies
May 29: 6-0 over the Giants
June 12: 4-3 over the Cardinals
June 26: 6-2 over the Twins
July 10: 4-3 over the Reds
July 31: 5-4 over the Astros
August 14: 2-1 over the Pirates
August 28: 3-2 over the Cubs
September 11: 3-2 over the Phillies
September 25: 9-5 over the Marlins
October 2: 9-4 over the Diamondbacks in the NLDS
October 9: 9-6 over the Cardinals in the NLCS
October 16: TBD

That's every Sunday home game this season, folks. Let's go Crew. Get it done. Then Yo! tomorrow. Kick it.

The Kotsay Files: Round Two

Mark Kotsay. Really? Brew Crew Ball really nails how stupid this is. I mean... I like the fact that he TAKES A FREAKING PITCH sometimes. It's great he hit a home run. But he can't play center and likely cost the team at least one run. So, tonight he's playing instead of Hart who has had some really bad at-bats lately. I'm ambivalent, I guess. But it's not like Kotsay has good numbers against Lohse like he does against Carpenter. He's 1 for 13 with a single. Hart isn't much better.

Anyway, who knows what is going to happen. I sure don't. Tonight might turn out to be the pitchers' duel people expected. Probably not.

Maybe I'll live blog it... maybe not.

Superstition and Favoritism

The second, first. So, I mean, I know who is going to be the favorites of a Fox broadcast. Ian Kinsler. Sure. Small, white guy. But, come on, Brandon Inge? "You know what Inge can do... we'll tell you about the rest of the infield." What can Inge do, again? Besides be one of the worst regulars in baseball? Delmon "remember that guy who threw the bat at the ump" Young makes a great running catch in left field and McCarver and Buck go on and on about Brandon Inge POINTING AT IT? I'm sure Delmon Young tends to just watch the third baseman to see where each ball is hit.

I'm not anticipating good things for the Crew if they make it to play on Fox. Firstly, all the action previews are all Cardinals except for one showing the 1982 Brewers. In tonight's pre-game, RIGHT AFTER the host was saying how Pujols was mimicking and taunting the Brewers' Beast Mode thing, which is only for their own amusement, Eric Karros just stuck to the script and said how the Cardinals play the game "a certain way" and "don't go in for antics." Why are all former players white dudes with sticks up their tails? I mean... A.J. PIERZYNSKI? The guy who punches his own trainer in the balls when the trainer asked how he was feeling after A.J. took a low foul ball?

Anyway, Jessica is coming over tonight which is good news. She was here when the Crew finally clinched. She was watching with me for the first two games of the NLDS, not the third and fourth. She came over in the fifth mid-way and the Brewers immediately did better. Game One of the NLCS, she was here late, on her way just in time for the crazy good inning. She missed Game Two.

So... I'm just sayin'!

Written in the Stars, a Million Miles Away...

Oh boy, this team. Perhaps it's one reason why they are a fun team to support is because they are *so* flawed. Half of the lineup last night just depressed me. Yuni-B, GoGo, Jon-Luc, and Granky. And then... after a terrible, terrible at-bat to wreck a rally against a wild pitcher, and 75% of another terrible at-bat, Yuni-B(eastmode) hit a homer that eventually was the difference in the game. I just don't know what to do with this! It's a heart attack every time.

Getting my first dose of Joe Buck right now. If you thought he was an insufferable pompous ass now, can you imagine having to listen to him if the Crew go to the World Series? He's probably warming up his righteous indignation now.

In and amongst the terrible commercials that assail me every year at playoff time is this gem. This just cracks me the heck up.

Well, That Worked Out Splendidly

Oh, T-Plush. So many times this night you demonstrated that you are an "actual crazy person." I don't mean the usual stuff but the stuff that makes people nervous to be around you.

Like, how you demonstrate you don't really know the rules of baseball... you came so close to getting a batters interference call on you by deliberately getting in Henry Blanco's way, spinning and waving your bat and arms around.

You always dance on the edge of a knife, Tony Plush.

Like, how you were so concerned with yelling to the fans that you didn't notice Sam Ryan sticking a mike in your face just in time for an F-Bomb. Like how you behaved like a four-year-old begging for his mom's attention, "Yelling 'Ueck!' 'Ueck!' 'Ueck!' 'Ueck!'" as Uecker conducted another interview and then, when finally acknowledged just said, "F-in' A!!!"



But somehow you make it all worth it. Even Big Prince got in the "I gotta go!" for his interview with Sam Ryan.

Tonight's Algorithm

if (runs['BREWCREW'] > runs['DBAGS']) {
     for($time=20, $time=23.59, $time++) {
        party_all_the($time);
    }
    root_for('REDTURDS','win', default);
}
else {
     root_for('REDTURDS', 'lose', 'heartbreaking fashion');
     break;
     die;
}

if (1 == 1 || sunrise('east') || test_religion('Pope','Catholic')) {
     $tony_larussa = "dingleberry";
}