Wednesday, June 22, 2005
AL Impartial All-Stars:
Let's employ the same tools for the AL. Though for the sake of the Oakland A's we'll include pitchers with VORPs 10 and up instead of 15:
ANA: Vlaud (of) 26.8, Spastic Colon (p) 25.3, Washburn (p) 20.4, Lackey (p) 17.5, Chone Figgins (2b) 16.7, Garret Anderson (of) 15.3, Byrd (p) 14.2, Erstad (1b) 11.5, Shields (p) 10.6
Wow, pretty crap offense so far for the Haloes.
BAL: Tejada (ss) 41.6, Bip Roberts (2b) 41.5, Mora (3b) 23.3, Bedard (p) 22.6, Brucie (p) 15.9, BJ Ryan (p) 14.2, J Gibbons (dh) 14.0, Jave (c) 11.1
Tejada just passed Bip in VORP and will probably stay ahead of him.
BOS: Papi (dh) 29.6, Tek (c) 28.1, Damon (of) 25.4, Clement (p) 21.9, ManRam (of) 17.7, Timlin (p) 16.6, Trot (of) 15.8, Myooller (3b) 12.5, We Can Be Edgar (ss) 10.8
Wow, who knew Trot was that close to ManRam in value so far or that Damon was so far ahead!
ShiteSox: Buehrle (p) 33.7, Garland (p) 21.8, Garcia (p) 20.1, Konerko (1b) 17.2, Contreras (p) 13.9, Politte (p) 13.2, Iguchi (2b) 12.4, Dye (of) 12.3, Cotts (p) 10.6, Hermanshead (p) 10.4
Yeah, it's the offense, Joe.
CLE: Hafner (dh) 22.8, Millwood (p) 18.7, Sizemore (of) 17.6, C Lee (p) 17.2, Jhonny Prealta (ss) 14.6, Rhodes (p) 14.0, Belliard (2b) 13.6, Riske (p) 12.6, Would You Betancourt (p) 11.4, Coco Lopez (of) 10.9
Wow, I didn't know Jhonny was having a good yaer.
DET: Angry Inge (3b) 23.7, Glass Guillen (ss) 23.0, Jason Johnson (p) 22.9, Bonderman (p) 18.6, Pudge (c) 17.1, RonDL (of) 15.0, Dmitri (dh) 13.1
Color me wrong about Inge. And Guillen while we're piling on.
KC: Sweeney (1b) 17.1, DJ Carrasco (p) 16.1, Emil Brown (of) 15.7, Sisco (p) 13.8, Stairs (dh) 13.7, Graffanino (2b) 11.6
Can I borrow a dictionary? I want to look up "your team sucks."
MIN: Santana (p) 27.1, Silva (p) 21.6, Torii (of) 18.9, Mauer (c) 16.2, Crain (p) 15.3, Jacque (of) 12.4, Shannon (of) 12.3, Radke (p) 11.8, Lew (dh) 11.5, Morneau (dh) 11.2
Well, it's a balanced offense. And a sexually ambiguously named outfield.
Junkees: GA-Rod (3b) 41.2, Stupid Twitching Bat Brigade (of) 28.4, Face of Baseball (ss) 28.3, Pile On Posada (c) 21.7, Unit (p) 21.6, Godzilla (of) 19.4 (that's right), Moose (p) 17.0, Flash (p) 10.7
Nada commento.
OAK: Street (p) 14.4, Ducks (p) 11.8, Harden (p) 11.6, Kielty (of) 10.3
w.o.w. Stick that in your Moneybook, Billy Bean you gay general manager!
SEA: Ibanez (dh) 26.3, Ichiro! (of) 17.1, Sexson the Beach (1b) 15.7, some guy named Michael Morse (ss) 12.0, Randy Losee (of) 11.0
Michael Morse has only had 66 plate appearances and has more VORP than the best Unathletic.
TB: Cantu (3b) 19.8, Lugo (ss) 18.3, Damon Hollins (of) 14.6, Crawford (of) 12.2, Steroid Sanchez (of) 11.7
Anything you Cantu, Lucango better. Hmmm. Good one.
TEX: Rogers (p) 37.7, Scoriano (2b) 27.9, Texasarea (1b) 26.8, Michael Young (ss) 25.8, Chris Young (p) 20.6, Mench (of) 20.2, Dellucci (of) 19.9, Blalock (3b) 15.1
Oh, HERE is where all the good players are in the AL West!
TOR: Halladay (p) 40.5, Chacin (p) 20.4, Hillenbrand (1b) 19.6, Pete Walker (p) 17.8, Hill (3b) 15.7, Hillzaun (c) 10.4
The Hill's are alive with crap.
OK let's do the simple folk first - right off the top. We must take Halladay, Rogers, Buehrle, Santana as pitchers so far. We have to take Tejada, Bip Roberts, Ga-Rod, Papi, Sheffield, Jeter, Tek, Soriano, Tex, Vlaud, Ibanez, Michael Young, and Damon. What does that get us:
1b/dh: Papi (BOS), Teixiera (TEX), Ibanez (SEA)
2b: Bip (BAL), Soriano (TEX)
3b: Ga-Rod (NY)
ss: Jeter (NY), Young (TEX)
of: Sheffield (NY), Vlaud (ANA), Damon (BOS)
c: Tek (BOS)
p: Halladay (TOR), Rogers (TEX), Buehrle (CHA), Santana (MIN)
We get 5 more pitchers, 1 c, 2 of, 1 3b, and one "extra". Teams that are not represented so far are only CLE, DET, KC, and OAK.
OAK is terrible. Huston Street is their best so he joins the pitching staff.
On DET, Inge is the next highest 3b anyway so he is in.
On CLE we can either take Hafner as the floater or Millwood in a pitching slot. On KC we can either take Sweeney as the floater or Carrasco in a pitching slot. Sweeney is on the DL I think so let's solve the problem by taking both Sweeney and Hafner.
We have 4 pitching slots left. The next highest pitchers are Bartolo Colon, Jason Johnson, Erik Bedard (DL - extra pick!), Matt Clement, and Jon Garland.
Posada is the next catcher and the next outfielders are Mench and Dellucci.
For fun we can add hometowner Carlos Guillen and DL him too. So our two All-Star teams are:
AL
c: Varitek, Posada
1b/dh: Ortiz, Teixiera, Ibanez, Hafner
2b: Roberts, Soriano
ss: Tejada, Jeter
3b: Rodriguez, Inge
of: Sheffield, Guerrero, Damon, Mench, Dellucci
p: Halladay, Rogers, Buehrle, Santana, Colon, Johnson, Clement, Garland, Street
dl: Sweeney, Guillen, Bedard
NL
c: Hernandez, Barrett
1b: Lee, Pujols, Johnson, Delgado
2b: Kent, Counsell
ss: Lopez, Vizquel
3b: Wright, Ramirez
of: Abreu, Cabrera, Bay, Clark, Giles
p: Willis, Clemens, Oswalt, Martinez, Myers, Peavy, Smoltz, Redman, Carpenter
dl: Barmes
Let's employ the same tools for the AL. Though for the sake of the Oakland A's we'll include pitchers with VORPs 10 and up instead of 15:
ANA: Vlaud (of) 26.8, Spastic Colon (p) 25.3, Washburn (p) 20.4, Lackey (p) 17.5, Chone Figgins (2b) 16.7, Garret Anderson (of) 15.3, Byrd (p) 14.2, Erstad (1b) 11.5, Shields (p) 10.6
Wow, pretty crap offense so far for the Haloes.
BAL: Tejada (ss) 41.6, Bip Roberts (2b) 41.5, Mora (3b) 23.3, Bedard (p) 22.6, Brucie (p) 15.9, BJ Ryan (p) 14.2, J Gibbons (dh) 14.0, Jave (c) 11.1
Tejada just passed Bip in VORP and will probably stay ahead of him.
BOS: Papi (dh) 29.6, Tek (c) 28.1, Damon (of) 25.4, Clement (p) 21.9, ManRam (of) 17.7, Timlin (p) 16.6, Trot (of) 15.8, Myooller (3b) 12.5, We Can Be Edgar (ss) 10.8
Wow, who knew Trot was that close to ManRam in value so far or that Damon was so far ahead!
ShiteSox: Buehrle (p) 33.7, Garland (p) 21.8, Garcia (p) 20.1, Konerko (1b) 17.2, Contreras (p) 13.9, Politte (p) 13.2, Iguchi (2b) 12.4, Dye (of) 12.3, Cotts (p) 10.6, Hermanshead (p) 10.4
Yeah, it's the offense, Joe.
CLE: Hafner (dh) 22.8, Millwood (p) 18.7, Sizemore (of) 17.6, C Lee (p) 17.2, Jhonny Prealta (ss) 14.6, Rhodes (p) 14.0, Belliard (2b) 13.6, Riske (p) 12.6, Would You Betancourt (p) 11.4, Coco Lopez (of) 10.9
Wow, I didn't know Jhonny was having a good yaer.
DET: Angry Inge (3b) 23.7, Glass Guillen (ss) 23.0, Jason Johnson (p) 22.9, Bonderman (p) 18.6, Pudge (c) 17.1, RonDL (of) 15.0, Dmitri (dh) 13.1
Color me wrong about Inge. And Guillen while we're piling on.
KC: Sweeney (1b) 17.1, DJ Carrasco (p) 16.1, Emil Brown (of) 15.7, Sisco (p) 13.8, Stairs (dh) 13.7, Graffanino (2b) 11.6
Can I borrow a dictionary? I want to look up "your team sucks."
MIN: Santana (p) 27.1, Silva (p) 21.6, Torii (of) 18.9, Mauer (c) 16.2, Crain (p) 15.3, Jacque (of) 12.4, Shannon (of) 12.3, Radke (p) 11.8, Lew (dh) 11.5, Morneau (dh) 11.2
Well, it's a balanced offense. And a sexually ambiguously named outfield.
Junkees: GA-Rod (3b) 41.2, Stupid Twitching Bat Brigade (of) 28.4, Face of Baseball (ss) 28.3, Pile On Posada (c) 21.7, Unit (p) 21.6, Godzilla (of) 19.4 (that's right), Moose (p) 17.0, Flash (p) 10.7
Nada commento.
OAK: Street (p) 14.4, Ducks (p) 11.8, Harden (p) 11.6, Kielty (of) 10.3
w.o.w. Stick that in your Moneybook, Billy Bean you gay general manager!
SEA: Ibanez (dh) 26.3, Ichiro! (of) 17.1, Sexson the Beach (1b) 15.7, some guy named Michael Morse (ss) 12.0, Randy Losee (of) 11.0
Michael Morse has only had 66 plate appearances and has more VORP than the best Unathletic.
TB: Cantu (3b) 19.8, Lugo (ss) 18.3, Damon Hollins (of) 14.6, Crawford (of) 12.2, Steroid Sanchez (of) 11.7
Anything you Cantu, Lucango better. Hmmm. Good one.
TEX: Rogers (p) 37.7, Scoriano (2b) 27.9, Texasarea (1b) 26.8, Michael Young (ss) 25.8, Chris Young (p) 20.6, Mench (of) 20.2, Dellucci (of) 19.9, Blalock (3b) 15.1
Oh, HERE is where all the good players are in the AL West!
TOR: Halladay (p) 40.5, Chacin (p) 20.4, Hillenbrand (1b) 19.6, Pete Walker (p) 17.8, Hill (3b) 15.7, Hillzaun (c) 10.4
The Hill's are alive with crap.
OK let's do the simple folk first - right off the top. We must take Halladay, Rogers, Buehrle, Santana as pitchers so far. We have to take Tejada, Bip Roberts, Ga-Rod, Papi, Sheffield, Jeter, Tek, Soriano, Tex, Vlaud, Ibanez, Michael Young, and Damon. What does that get us:
1b/dh: Papi (BOS), Teixiera (TEX), Ibanez (SEA)
2b: Bip (BAL), Soriano (TEX)
3b: Ga-Rod (NY)
ss: Jeter (NY), Young (TEX)
of: Sheffield (NY), Vlaud (ANA), Damon (BOS)
c: Tek (BOS)
p: Halladay (TOR), Rogers (TEX), Buehrle (CHA), Santana (MIN)
We get 5 more pitchers, 1 c, 2 of, 1 3b, and one "extra". Teams that are not represented so far are only CLE, DET, KC, and OAK.
OAK is terrible. Huston Street is their best so he joins the pitching staff.
On DET, Inge is the next highest 3b anyway so he is in.
On CLE we can either take Hafner as the floater or Millwood in a pitching slot. On KC we can either take Sweeney as the floater or Carrasco in a pitching slot. Sweeney is on the DL I think so let's solve the problem by taking both Sweeney and Hafner.
We have 4 pitching slots left. The next highest pitchers are Bartolo Colon, Jason Johnson, Erik Bedard (DL - extra pick!), Matt Clement, and Jon Garland.
Posada is the next catcher and the next outfielders are Mench and Dellucci.
For fun we can add hometowner Carlos Guillen and DL him too. So our two All-Star teams are:
AL
c: Varitek, Posada
1b/dh: Ortiz, Teixiera, Ibanez, Hafner
2b: Roberts, Soriano
ss: Tejada, Jeter
3b: Rodriguez, Inge
of: Sheffield, Guerrero, Damon, Mench, Dellucci
p: Halladay, Rogers, Buehrle, Santana, Colon, Johnson, Clement, Garland, Street
dl: Sweeney, Guillen, Bedard
NL
c: Hernandez, Barrett
1b: Lee, Pujols, Johnson, Delgado
2b: Kent, Counsell
ss: Lopez, Vizquel
3b: Wright, Ramirez
of: Abreu, Cabrera, Bay, Clark, Giles
p: Willis, Clemens, Oswalt, Martinez, Myers, Peavy, Smoltz, Redman, Carpenter
dl: Barmes
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