Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Impartial All-Stars - NL
OK I am going to see if we can figure out a purely 2005 performance-based All-Star Team using all the rules of representation but basing on VORP from BP. First lets look at the leaders from each team, 10 VORP or higher for hitters, 15 VORP or higher for pitchers:
ARI: Webb (p) 24.4, The Freak (of) 22.9, Tony Clark?? (1b) 21.7, Craig Counsell (2b) 20.4, Troy Glaus (3b) 18.4, Estes ugh (p) 15.7, Seen Green (of) 10.0
Ugh. Not a lot of options here.
ATL: Schmoltz (p) 25.6, Hamp-Ton (p) 25.0, Andruw (of) 22.0, Chipper (3b) 17.1, Hudson (p) 17.1, Marcus Giles (2b) 16.7, Wilson Betemit? (ss) 14.1, Johnny Estrada (c) 12.2
Wow, who would have thought the Freak was beating Andruw?
CHN: DeeLee (1b) 61.2 woof, Aramis (3b) 22.0, Z (p) 21.6, Rusch (p) 21.0, Stupid Burnitz (of) 17.2, Prior (p) 16.6, Michael "not held" Barrett (c) 14.8
DEELEE MVP!!!
CIN: Dunn Dunn (of) 26.2, Felipe Lopez (ss) 24.4, Joe Randa (3b) 19.1, All-Century Whiffey (of) 18.4, Casey (1b) 17.2, Aaron You Rang? (p) 17.2, Ryan "Bay Trading" Freel (2b?) 17.1, Wily Mo! (of) 12.5
How does this team suck so much? Is Milton THAT BAD?
COL: Deer Barmes (ss) 20.1
He can get an honorary mention. What's up with Helton??
FLO: Dontrelle (p) 40.5, Delgado (1b) 37.9, Cabrera (of) 30.3, MOEHLER? (p) 24.3, Beckett (p) 19.1, Nipple Rings (p) 17.9, Castijjo (2b) 16.7, LoDucker (c) 12.7, AGon (ss) 12.3, Juancernacionen (of) 11.6
Remember when Juanceranatiocon was having a good year? What happened to Beckett?
HOU: Rocket (p) 43.5, Oswalt (p) 33.2, Pet it (p) 20.4, Ensberg (3b) 20.1, Biggio (2b) 14.3
Wow, Ensberg, really? I never catch up with teams I don't follow.
LA: Get Bent (2b) 28.2, JDBoo (of) 22.6, Penny (p) 16.5, Mil-ton (of) 16.2, Olamadeo Saynze (1b) 13.4, Antonio Perez (3b) 10.8, Izturis (ss) 10.1
I never thought I'd have a blog with Saenz's name in it more than ever.
MIL: Brady Clark (of) 25.3, CeeLee (of) 24.5, Capuano (p) 22.2, Victor Santos (p) 21.6, Overpay (1b) 20.0, Bill Hall?? (ss) 20.0
CEELEE MVP!!! The unheralded - and unowned, I think - Brady Clark!
NY: Pedro (p) 33.0, David Wrong (3b) 24.6, Cuccaromon (of) 20.6, Floyd "Hey Valentine!" (of) 18.0, Heil man! (p) 15.5, Pizza (c) 14.1, dishonrable mention: Beltran 8.2
Who would have guessed at the way the outfielders lined up 1-2-3?
PHI: Abububububu (of) 43.1, Brett Myers (p) 35.9, the Bat (of) 25.4, Utterly (2b) 21.8, Kenny Lofton (of) 18.2, Rolens (ss) 15.7, Polanco (2b) - moved on his 11.0 (16.5 total)
Abububububububu!!
PIT: Baywatch (of) 31.1, Red Man (p) 28.6, Mackowack (3b) 19.9 that's right, DaryleWardSucks.com (1b) 17.6, Dave "AK" Williams (p) 15.3, Lawton (of) 12.7
I wish Mackowack makes the team but I doubt it.
SD: Peavy (p) 30.2, Giles (of) 28.2, Klesko's Face (of) 17.5, Ramen Hernandez (c) 14.1, Dave "biggest SB in history" Roberts (of) 11.6
I wish it was your face!
SF: Cap'n Peehands (of) 19.9 that's right, Omar! (ss) 15.1, Jason Ellison (of) 14.0, some guy named "Lance Niekro" (1b) 10.7
Ugh. Trlicek.
STL: Pooholes (1b) 43.5, Carpenter in to nail it down (p) 28.4, Reggie "Jackson, Deion" Sanders (of) 22.5, Ed-Monds (of) 22.4, Eck-Gamer (ss) 20.0, Morris (p) 19.3, Markee (p) 16.4, Grudzie (2b) 16.0, Wal-ker (of) 11.1.
Sorry Rolen.
WAS: The Stick (1b) 30.9, Livian (p) 27.1, John "f*ing Carl" Patterson (p) 21.1, Lowyza (p) 18.9, Jose Guillen (of) 16.4, Wilkillyerson (of) 16.3, Ryan Church (of) 16.2, Chad Cordero (p) 15.6, Vidro (2b) 10.3
As in "WAS" not so good offense.
So, let's be generous and only have a 9-man pitching staff if we can stand it. That gives us 16 hitters. Two at every position with maybe one less outfielder for a good hitter somewhere else, like 1B. Also we can get an "extra" selection with a DL'd pick like Barmes since the rest of the Rockies suck.
At 1B we must take Lee and Pujols. Delgado only slightly drops off to Nick the Stick.
At OF we must take Abububu, Jason Bay, and Cabrera. The next few are Giles, Dunn, Burrell, Clark, CeeLee.
At 2B Kent really stands out. Counsell makes the top 25 overall and can fulfill an obligation over Utley.
At 3B Wright really stands out. Ensberg and Aramis are close to each other.
At SS FELIPE LOPEZ stands out. We can name Barmes and also take stupid Eckstein or BILL HALL to fulfill the Brewcrew.
At C Barrett, Ramen, and Pizza are all close together.
At P we must have Pedro, Rocket, D-Train, Myers, Oswalt and Peavy.
How does this shake out?
ARI: Counsell-2b
ATL: hmmmm
CHN: Lee-1b
CIN: Lopez-ss
COL: Barmes-ss (DL)
FLO: Dontrelle-p, Cabrera-of
HOU: Rocket-p, Oswalt-p
LA: Kent-2b
MIL: hmmm
NY: Pedro-p, Wright-3b
PHI: Abreu-of, Myers-p
PIT: Bay-of
SD: Peavy-p
SF: hmmm
STL: Pujols-1b
WAS: hmmm
OK we still have 2 c's, 3 p's, 2 of's, 1 1b, 1 3b, 1 ss to fill
Plus teams ATL, MIL, SF, WAS are not represented.
Let's take
MIL: Clark-of
WAS: Johnson-1b
ATL: Smoltz-p
SF: Vizquel-ss
and fulfill the obligations and then take the best of who is left. That's:
SD: Giles-of, Hernandez-c
CHN: Ramirez-3b, Barrett-c
PIT: Redman-p
STL: Carpenter-p
And I'm sticking with it!
Wait, maybe the teams get 26. I can't remember. If so, here comes Carlos Delgado.
OK I am going to see if we can figure out a purely 2005 performance-based All-Star Team using all the rules of representation but basing on VORP from BP. First lets look at the leaders from each team, 10 VORP or higher for hitters, 15 VORP or higher for pitchers:
ARI: Webb (p) 24.4, The Freak (of) 22.9, Tony Clark?? (1b) 21.7, Craig Counsell (2b) 20.4, Troy Glaus (3b) 18.4, Estes ugh (p) 15.7, Seen Green (of) 10.0
Ugh. Not a lot of options here.
ATL: Schmoltz (p) 25.6, Hamp-Ton (p) 25.0, Andruw (of) 22.0, Chipper (3b) 17.1, Hudson (p) 17.1, Marcus Giles (2b) 16.7, Wilson Betemit? (ss) 14.1, Johnny Estrada (c) 12.2
Wow, who would have thought the Freak was beating Andruw?
CHN: DeeLee (1b) 61.2 woof, Aramis (3b) 22.0, Z (p) 21.6, Rusch (p) 21.0, Stupid Burnitz (of) 17.2, Prior (p) 16.6, Michael "not held" Barrett (c) 14.8
DEELEE MVP!!!
CIN: Dunn Dunn (of) 26.2, Felipe Lopez (ss) 24.4, Joe Randa (3b) 19.1, All-Century Whiffey (of) 18.4, Casey (1b) 17.2, Aaron You Rang? (p) 17.2, Ryan "Bay Trading" Freel (2b?) 17.1, Wily Mo! (of) 12.5
How does this team suck so much? Is Milton THAT BAD?
COL: Deer Barmes (ss) 20.1
He can get an honorary mention. What's up with Helton??
FLO: Dontrelle (p) 40.5, Delgado (1b) 37.9, Cabrera (of) 30.3, MOEHLER? (p) 24.3, Beckett (p) 19.1, Nipple Rings (p) 17.9, Castijjo (2b) 16.7, LoDucker (c) 12.7, AGon (ss) 12.3, Juancernacionen (of) 11.6
Remember when Juanceranatiocon was having a good year? What happened to Beckett?
HOU: Rocket (p) 43.5, Oswalt (p) 33.2, Pet it (p) 20.4, Ensberg (3b) 20.1, Biggio (2b) 14.3
Wow, Ensberg, really? I never catch up with teams I don't follow.
LA: Get Bent (2b) 28.2, JDBoo (of) 22.6, Penny (p) 16.5, Mil-ton (of) 16.2, Olamadeo Saynze (1b) 13.4, Antonio Perez (3b) 10.8, Izturis (ss) 10.1
I never thought I'd have a blog with Saenz's name in it more than ever.
MIL: Brady Clark (of) 25.3, CeeLee (of) 24.5, Capuano (p) 22.2, Victor Santos (p) 21.6, Overpay (1b) 20.0, Bill Hall?? (ss) 20.0
CEELEE MVP!!! The unheralded - and unowned, I think - Brady Clark!
NY: Pedro (p) 33.0, David Wrong (3b) 24.6, Cuccaromon (of) 20.6, Floyd "Hey Valentine!" (of) 18.0, Heil man! (p) 15.5, Pizza (c) 14.1, dishonrable mention: Beltran 8.2
Who would have guessed at the way the outfielders lined up 1-2-3?
PHI: Abububububu (of) 43.1, Brett Myers (p) 35.9, the Bat (of) 25.4, Utterly (2b) 21.8, Kenny Lofton (of) 18.2, Rolens (ss) 15.7, Polanco (2b) - moved on his 11.0 (16.5 total)
Abububububububu!!
PIT: Baywatch (of) 31.1, Red Man (p) 28.6, Mackowack (3b) 19.9 that's right, DaryleWardSucks.com (1b) 17.6, Dave "AK" Williams (p) 15.3, Lawton (of) 12.7
I wish Mackowack makes the team but I doubt it.
SD: Peavy (p) 30.2, Giles (of) 28.2, Klesko's Face (of) 17.5, Ramen Hernandez (c) 14.1, Dave "biggest SB in history" Roberts (of) 11.6
I wish it was your face!
SF: Cap'n Peehands (of) 19.9 that's right, Omar! (ss) 15.1, Jason Ellison (of) 14.0, some guy named "Lance Niekro" (1b) 10.7
Ugh. Trlicek.
STL: Pooholes (1b) 43.5, Carpenter in to nail it down (p) 28.4, Reggie "Jackson, Deion" Sanders (of) 22.5, Ed-Monds (of) 22.4, Eck-Gamer (ss) 20.0, Morris (p) 19.3, Markee (p) 16.4, Grudzie (2b) 16.0, Wal-ker (of) 11.1.
Sorry Rolen.
WAS: The Stick (1b) 30.9, Livian (p) 27.1, John "f*ing Carl" Patterson (p) 21.1, Lowyza (p) 18.9, Jose Guillen (of) 16.4, Wilkillyerson (of) 16.3, Ryan Church (of) 16.2, Chad Cordero (p) 15.6, Vidro (2b) 10.3
As in "WAS" not so good offense.
So, let's be generous and only have a 9-man pitching staff if we can stand it. That gives us 16 hitters. Two at every position with maybe one less outfielder for a good hitter somewhere else, like 1B. Also we can get an "extra" selection with a DL'd pick like Barmes since the rest of the Rockies suck.
At 1B we must take Lee and Pujols. Delgado only slightly drops off to Nick the Stick.
At OF we must take Abububu, Jason Bay, and Cabrera. The next few are Giles, Dunn, Burrell, Clark, CeeLee.
At 2B Kent really stands out. Counsell makes the top 25 overall and can fulfill an obligation over Utley.
At 3B Wright really stands out. Ensberg and Aramis are close to each other.
At SS FELIPE LOPEZ stands out. We can name Barmes and also take stupid Eckstein or BILL HALL to fulfill the Brewcrew.
At C Barrett, Ramen, and Pizza are all close together.
At P we must have Pedro, Rocket, D-Train, Myers, Oswalt and Peavy.
How does this shake out?
ARI: Counsell-2b
ATL: hmmmm
CHN: Lee-1b
CIN: Lopez-ss
COL: Barmes-ss (DL)
FLO: Dontrelle-p, Cabrera-of
HOU: Rocket-p, Oswalt-p
LA: Kent-2b
MIL: hmmm
NY: Pedro-p, Wright-3b
PHI: Abreu-of, Myers-p
PIT: Bay-of
SD: Peavy-p
SF: hmmm
STL: Pujols-1b
WAS: hmmm
OK we still have 2 c's, 3 p's, 2 of's, 1 1b, 1 3b, 1 ss to fill
Plus teams ATL, MIL, SF, WAS are not represented.
Let's take
MIL: Clark-of
WAS: Johnson-1b
ATL: Smoltz-p
SF: Vizquel-ss
and fulfill the obligations and then take the best of who is left. That's:
SD: Giles-of, Hernandez-c
CHN: Ramirez-3b, Barrett-c
PIT: Redman-p
STL: Carpenter-p
And I'm sticking with it!
Wait, maybe the teams get 26. I can't remember. If so, here comes Carlos Delgado.
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