No Glory Blog: Let's Go 2014 Texas Rangers!

Reaching For Hyperbole

Last night I listened to the end of the Pirates game on KDKA. Announcer Greg Brown was trying to come up with analogies for Kip Wells' shutout. He had these gems:

• After striking out Pat Burrell for the second out of the ninth and Wells' 11th, Brown said, "Kip Wells is Armed and Fabulous!" So, he's quoting a bad sequel to a bad movie and generally when you call a man "fabulous" it means he is flamboyantly gay.
• "What a turnaround from last night (when the Pirates got shellacked)... a night that was so miserable it could have been a novel written by Victor Hugo." Hmm. The Hunchback of Notre Dame perhaps?
• "Wells' last start in Washington was a short story. But tonight he is writing, trying to write, a complete story, novel."
• After striking out Ryan Howard to end the game, Brown cried, "Kip Wells has ended with a cadenza after a complete symphony!"

Oy.