Thursday, January 19, 2006
INGLORIOUS 2006 - AL - Part 1
Our ugly stepsister of a league. Am I saying this because my team is horrible? Possibly...but many of our baseball rooting interests growing up were based in the National League. We have also had our NL teams longer, and we all remember our first love. I just don't get the AL...it seems like all of the pitchers have inflated ERA's while 15 starting outfielders cannot break a .700 OPS.
Still...having 2 teams in concurrent leagues is pretty sweet.
KEN SMITH'S CURSED BAMBINOS
I apologize for ahead of time for having less to say about the AL teams...heck, I cannot even remember how each team did 2 years ago. Our NL standings have often been very similar from year-to-year, but our AL standings have more parity. Good news for Ken Smith 2 years ago...bad news for Ken Smith last year.
STRENGTHS: Dominant offensive Red Sox in ManRam and Ortiz, 2 young budding Athletics stars
WEAKNESSES: Not terrible at many positions, but many key players like Schilling and Javy Lopez are aging and/or injury risks; Farm system is literally bare, except for Ian Bladersomething orother...about 50,000-1 to win ROY honors
OUTLOOK: Not likely to contend in 2006...must focus heavily on drafting productively in both the rookie and main drafts. With 2 powerful offensive building blocks and a little luck in pitcher development, Ken can find success in 2007. A back-to-normal Schilling could be valuable bait late in the year.
MIKE CUCCARO'S BURNINATORS:
So Mike's team is awesome in the AL too...so much for my pointless parody prattlings. Mike's magic fountain does not work on AL players as of yet. SO that is good. But Mike has the foundation for another dynasty through an excellent draft 2 years ago. His youthful gambles have become superstars (Johan, Victor). Compare this to Brandon Phillips. Ugh.
STRENGTHS: Pitching, offense, upside
WEAKNESSES: Will not trade top-line talent, so my perenially cellar-dwelling team trades veteran stars to his top division rival
OUTLOOK: Mike could push the envelope and try drafting like I often do...maxing out in the 20-25 beer range. Mike's Evil Empire consistently pushes a St. Patrick's Day draft in an attempt to ruin my team. i even said to hell with it for the last few picks back in Year 2 or so. Mike could also push the envelope by drafting as I do with just a player list and a pen. No real research. No fancy charts. No elaborate rankings. And he needs to follow my 5 seconds rule of making a pick less than 5 seconds after the previous pick. I have the rare 5 tool ability to drink like a fish, function quickly, draft well, avoid "research" clutter, and razz eveyone with one-liners during the draft. I think Mike should attempt it this year. Without lame jokes like "Oh my Daal!" to fall back on this year and multiplying bottles misplacing researched notes intruding on his 5 seconds, Mike may struglle mightily. Of course...he has no risk doing this since his team is so damn good. It makes me want to puke a lot more than drinking 25 beers.
VINCENT KUNES' S WHISTLES GO WOO??
Since I truly enjoy telling amusing anecdotes (brutally making fun of fellow league members), it saddens me to talk about this team. I know nothing about Vincent except for his e-mail address. Although this e-mail address consists of a random number of jumbled letters and numbers that would make it extremely difficult for someone to remember at first, it is still just an e-mail address and contains no real starting point for Keven Tapani-level humor. I have also never randomly dated someone with a remarkably similar name as in the case with Katie...this is very fortunate for obvious reasons.
STRENGTHS: Combined OPS (Sheffield, Wells, Vlad, Sizemore): 3465; Combined OPS for Puppies OF's (Damon, Reed, Podsednik, Williams) 2868
WEAKNESSES: pitching; declining infielders; how will leagur changes work out?
OUTLOOK: Steeped in mystery, the fate of Whistles Go WOO remains a mystery. What will Vincent do next? Sounds like a smart advertsing campaign for Daihatsu or I'm not Lee Iacocca. Does anyone get this joke? Am I going all Dennis Miller on the blog or are some of my obscure remarks actually extremely hackneyed? Anyway, back to Vincent's outlook. Resolve league changers, cherish Joe Mauer, find pitching, probably slated for 2nd place in the division but a couple of lucky starting pitchers could push the team to challenge the Shadows.
Our ugly stepsister of a league. Am I saying this because my team is horrible? Possibly...but many of our baseball rooting interests growing up were based in the National League. We have also had our NL teams longer, and we all remember our first love. I just don't get the AL...it seems like all of the pitchers have inflated ERA's while 15 starting outfielders cannot break a .700 OPS.
Still...having 2 teams in concurrent leagues is pretty sweet.
KEN SMITH'S CURSED BAMBINOS
I apologize for ahead of time for having less to say about the AL teams...heck, I cannot even remember how each team did 2 years ago. Our NL standings have often been very similar from year-to-year, but our AL standings have more parity. Good news for Ken Smith 2 years ago...bad news for Ken Smith last year.
STRENGTHS: Dominant offensive Red Sox in ManRam and Ortiz, 2 young budding Athletics stars
WEAKNESSES: Not terrible at many positions, but many key players like Schilling and Javy Lopez are aging and/or injury risks; Farm system is literally bare, except for Ian Bladersomething orother...about 50,000-1 to win ROY honors
OUTLOOK: Not likely to contend in 2006...must focus heavily on drafting productively in both the rookie and main drafts. With 2 powerful offensive building blocks and a little luck in pitcher development, Ken can find success in 2007. A back-to-normal Schilling could be valuable bait late in the year.
MIKE CUCCARO'S BURNINATORS:
So Mike's team is awesome in the AL too...so much for my pointless parody prattlings. Mike's magic fountain does not work on AL players as of yet. SO that is good. But Mike has the foundation for another dynasty through an excellent draft 2 years ago. His youthful gambles have become superstars (Johan, Victor). Compare this to Brandon Phillips. Ugh.
STRENGTHS: Pitching, offense, upside
WEAKNESSES: Will not trade top-line talent, so my perenially cellar-dwelling team trades veteran stars to his top division rival
OUTLOOK: Mike could push the envelope and try drafting like I often do...maxing out in the 20-25 beer range. Mike's Evil Empire consistently pushes a St. Patrick's Day draft in an attempt to ruin my team. i even said to hell with it for the last few picks back in Year 2 or so. Mike could also push the envelope by drafting as I do with just a player list and a pen. No real research. No fancy charts. No elaborate rankings. And he needs to follow my 5 seconds rule of making a pick less than 5 seconds after the previous pick. I have the rare 5 tool ability to drink like a fish, function quickly, draft well, avoid "research" clutter, and razz eveyone with one-liners during the draft. I think Mike should attempt it this year. Without lame jokes like "Oh my Daal!" to fall back on this year and multiplying bottles misplacing researched notes intruding on his 5 seconds, Mike may struglle mightily. Of course...he has no risk doing this since his team is so damn good. It makes me want to puke a lot more than drinking 25 beers.
VINCENT KUNES' S WHISTLES GO WOO??
Since I truly enjoy telling amusing anecdotes (brutally making fun of fellow league members), it saddens me to talk about this team. I know nothing about Vincent except for his e-mail address. Although this e-mail address consists of a random number of jumbled letters and numbers that would make it extremely difficult for someone to remember at first, it is still just an e-mail address and contains no real starting point for Keven Tapani-level humor. I have also never randomly dated someone with a remarkably similar name as in the case with Katie...this is very fortunate for obvious reasons.
STRENGTHS: Combined OPS (Sheffield, Wells, Vlad, Sizemore): 3465; Combined OPS for Puppies OF's (Damon, Reed, Podsednik, Williams) 2868
WEAKNESSES: pitching; declining infielders; how will leagur changes work out?
OUTLOOK: Steeped in mystery, the fate of Whistles Go WOO remains a mystery. What will Vincent do next? Sounds like a smart advertsing campaign for Daihatsu or I'm not Lee Iacocca. Does anyone get this joke? Am I going all Dennis Miller on the blog or are some of my obscure remarks actually extremely hackneyed? Anyway, back to Vincent's outlook. Resolve league changers, cherish Joe Mauer, find pitching, probably slated for 2nd place in the division but a couple of lucky starting pitchers could push the team to challenge the Shadows.
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