No Glory Blog: Let's Go 2014 Texas Rangers!

Counting our All-Stars

AL:
Carl (4) - Tejada, Colon, Garland, Rogers
Jeff (2) - Teix, Sweeney
Ken (4) - Ortiz, ManRam, Young, Anderson
Lou (2) - Vlaud, Sheff
Matt (5) - Tek, Bip Roberts, Buehrle, Nathan, Ichiro!
Mike (4) - Halladay (ouch), Santana, Ducks, Ryan
Randy (6) - Clement, Baez, Rivera, Konerko, Scoriano, Mora
Slave (5) - Damon, A-Rod, I-Rod, Hillenbrand, Podsednik
unowned (1) - Wickman

NL:
Carl (3) - Eckstein, Livian, Ensberg
Jeff (3) - LoDuca, Cabrera, Oswalt
Ken (5) - Pooholes, Smoltz, Isringhausen, Castijjo, Bay
Lou (4) - A-Ram, Pizza, Lidge, Andruw
Matt (1) - Izturis
Mike (8) - Abubu, Beltran, Edmonds, Clemens, Pedro, Vagner, Rolen, Rollins
Randy (1) - Kent
Slave (9) - DeeLee, Carpenter, Peavy, D-Train, Cordero, Lopez, Alou, Freak, CeeLee
unowned(1) - Fuentes

Reaching For Hyperbole

Last night I listened to the end of the Pirates game on KDKA. Announcer Greg Brown was trying to come up with analogies for Kip Wells' shutout. He had these gems:

• After striking out Pat Burrell for the second out of the ninth and Wells' 11th, Brown said, "Kip Wells is Armed and Fabulous!" So, he's quoting a bad sequel to a bad movie and generally when you call a man "fabulous" it means he is flamboyantly gay.
• "What a turnaround from last night (when the Pirates got shellacked)... a night that was so miserable it could have been a novel written by Victor Hugo." Hmm. The Hunchback of Notre Dame perhaps?
• "Wells' last start in Washington was a short story. But tonight he is writing, trying to write, a complete story, novel."
• After striking out Ryan Howard to end the game, Brown cried, "Kip Wells has ended with a cadenza after a complete symphony!"

Oy.