Monday, January 30, 2006
Highway Kind trade 389 Mark Ellis and a 3rd round draft pick to Wookies for 365 Jim Thome and the rookie rights to 92 Dustin MacGowan.
The reason why we've make fun of Slave for this for 10 years is because the rant itself is hilarious, not because of an argument over his level of talent-judging, which I've heard is pretty good. That's right.
Said to Mike by Slave before the 1997 season, after Mike traded Terrell Wade, Alan Benes and Kevin Tapani to Carl for Al Leiter:
"I like to think of myself as a pretty good manager and judge of talent for this league. I had a great lineup, and if all my pitchers didn't DNP for the year, I might have the best league record. However, I don't understand something. Why is Gary Sheffield attracting absolutely no interest while you are trading two of the worst starters in the National League and a set-up man reliever for one of the top seven or eight starters in the league? Looking at my roster, I see that the only one I would have held is Alan Benes --- IF WE WERE ALLOWED TO HOLD 19 PLAYERS!That's right Benes would be #19.Maybe when the rookie GM that traded with you realizes that your taxi squadders are making Kevin Foster look good, then the unemployment lines will be short for them.That could be why everyone considers Sheffield just another player -- because everyone hitting against that rotation WILL LOOK LIKE GARY SHEFFIELD."
I recently called Neil Walker a "C" prospect, a grade that, in retrospect is off by a little. I had originally planned on judging the rookies tougher, but he was the first one. In retrospect, I would give him a B-/C+. At any rate, my review of Walker prompted Mike to threaten me with future "make fun of Slave" threats.
I would now like to revisit the "case against Alan Benes."
As many of you know, I had a famous rant about Benes 9 years ago. This famous quote can be read in its entirety on the Rabid Woofers section of Mike's website. Since that day, I have been subjected to such ill-treatment that mimes actually spoke out about the injustice of it all (double entendre).
Three of Alan's top 10 comparables are William Van Landingham, Jeff Juden, and KEVIN FOSTER! Along with Kevin Ritz, we have collectively insulted these pitchers more than any other in our league history. Why? Because they flat-out suck...just as Alan Benes did.
As I had said in the past, Gary Sheffield was attracting no trade interest while Benes was traded for Al Leiter. Last I looked, Sheffield was still getting MVP votes every year and Leiter had a sub 3.00 ERA just a couple years ago.
The point is this. I made fun of Benes. He had a short, unproductive career (aside from back-to-back 5-inning shutout bullpen stints for Mike against the Woofers one year - yes I am still incredibly bitter). In fact, he garnered 1 point of gray ink for his career - a measurement of Hall of Fame worthiness. Even Pat Zachry, Mike's most hated "lousy" player as a kid, garnered 22 points.
Despite being completely right, I must suffer Mike laughing at me and the number 19 to this very day. So his threat over Neil Walker is completely pointless. I have no doubt Mike will make fun of me...but only because Walker will be luky to break .220 in 100 AB's spread over 4 years in the major leagues. If Mike could judge talent in catchers, he may have held onto Michael Barrett last year.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Mike Cuccaro:
Neil Walker - C, Josh Barfield - B, Jason Stokes - B-, Gavin Floyd - B-; Guillermo Quiroz - C, Kyle Sleeth - Inc.
Closest thing to an impact player is Josh Barfield, who has some question marks. Division rivals are hoping that he maintains this farm system.
Jeff Skilton:
Joel Guzman - A-, Carlos Quentin - A-; JJ Hardy - B, Andy Marte - A; Adam Miller - B+, Erick Aybar - B+, Dustin MacGowan - B, Casey Kotchman - B+
Very strong, deep system in both leagues. Any one of his rookies can become an impact player
Matt Streeter:
Zack Duke - A, Brian Dopriak - C, Jeff Francis - C, Ryan Doumit - B-
No AL rookies! Duke with an amazing debut, but indicators are not outstanding. Jeff Francis is too limited by Colorado to be an impact Scoresheet player
Randy Hall:
Matt Bush - D, Mark Rogers - C, Phil Humber - B-, Ian Stewart - A; Joey Gathwright - C+
You can never stop making fun of Matt Bush and his sub-.560 OPS in the minors last year. He had more arrests than extra base hits! Ian Stewart is Randy's great hope -- he needs to dump a couple lesser lights and have a good rookie draft.
David Cuccaro:
Lastings Milledge - A-, Cole Hamels - B; Delmon Young A, Scott Kazmir, A
Cole Hamels has as much potential as anyone if he can get injuries under control. Most front-line talent of anyone although no depth due to promotions.
Ken Smith:
Scott Olsen - B+, Anthony Reyes - B+, Greg Miller B-; Ian BladerGroen - D+
Looke much better on paper than in reality. Olsen is best bet but looks a lot like Gavin Floyd - hyped but not overwhelming results, top Cardinals pitching prospects like Reyes tend to fizzle (see: Chad Hutchinson, Jimmy Journell)
Carl Zimring:
Chris Nelson - C , Conor Jackson - A-, Jeremy Hermida - A, Andy LaRoche - A-; Jeff Mathis - C+, Ryan Sweeney - C+
NL superb; AL shaky at best; Hermida is neck-and-neck with Young for best rookie and Jackson or LaRoche are potential superstars
Thomas/Katie/ Vincent:
Josh Willingham: B, Edwin Jackson - B-, JR House - C, Jayson Nix - C; Bobby Jenks - B
No top-notch talent; 3 intriguing names though as Willingham could be an offensive force at catcher though age limits upside. Jackson could regain his top-notch prospect status with change-of-scenery but jury is out; Jenks could be dominant...but as a relief pitcher his upside is limited
I guess this did not post before.
Woofers trade Mulder, Oliver Perez, and 4th rounder to Thomas/Katie for Burnett
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Mike trades Kevin Mench to Slave for his 3rd round pick, the 19th pick of the draft.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
(0) commentsThursday, January 19, 2006
Our ugly stepsister of a league. Am I saying this because my team is horrible? Possibly...but many of our baseball rooting interests growing up were based in the National League. We have also had our NL teams longer, and we all remember our first love. I just don't get the AL...it seems like all of the pitchers have inflated ERA's while 15 starting outfielders cannot break a .700 OPS.
Still...having 2 teams in concurrent leagues is pretty sweet.
KEN SMITH'S CURSED BAMBINOS
I apologize for ahead of time for having less to say about the AL teams...heck, I cannot even remember how each team did 2 years ago. Our NL standings have often been very similar from year-to-year, but our AL standings have more parity. Good news for Ken Smith 2 years ago...bad news for Ken Smith last year.
STRENGTHS: Dominant offensive Red Sox in ManRam and Ortiz, 2 young budding Athletics stars
WEAKNESSES: Not terrible at many positions, but many key players like Schilling and Javy Lopez are aging and/or injury risks; Farm system is literally bare, except for Ian Bladersomething orother...about 50,000-1 to win ROY honors
OUTLOOK: Not likely to contend in 2006...must focus heavily on drafting productively in both the rookie and main drafts. With 2 powerful offensive building blocks and a little luck in pitcher development, Ken can find success in 2007. A back-to-normal Schilling could be valuable bait late in the year.
MIKE CUCCARO'S BURNINATORS:
So Mike's team is awesome in the AL too...so much for my pointless parody prattlings. Mike's magic fountain does not work on AL players as of yet. SO that is good. But Mike has the foundation for another dynasty through an excellent draft 2 years ago. His youthful gambles have become superstars (Johan, Victor). Compare this to Brandon Phillips. Ugh.
STRENGTHS: Pitching, offense, upside
WEAKNESSES: Will not trade top-line talent, so my perenially cellar-dwelling team trades veteran stars to his top division rival
OUTLOOK: Mike could push the envelope and try drafting like I often do...maxing out in the 20-25 beer range. Mike's Evil Empire consistently pushes a St. Patrick's Day draft in an attempt to ruin my team. i even said to hell with it for the last few picks back in Year 2 or so. Mike could also push the envelope by drafting as I do with just a player list and a pen. No real research. No fancy charts. No elaborate rankings. And he needs to follow my 5 seconds rule of making a pick less than 5 seconds after the previous pick. I have the rare 5 tool ability to drink like a fish, function quickly, draft well, avoid "research" clutter, and razz eveyone with one-liners during the draft. I think Mike should attempt it this year. Without lame jokes like "Oh my Daal!" to fall back on this year and multiplying bottles misplacing researched notes intruding on his 5 seconds, Mike may struglle mightily. Of course...he has no risk doing this since his team is so damn good. It makes me want to puke a lot more than drinking 25 beers.
VINCENT KUNES' S WHISTLES GO WOO??
Since I truly enjoy telling amusing anecdotes (brutally making fun of fellow league members), it saddens me to talk about this team. I know nothing about Vincent except for his e-mail address. Although this e-mail address consists of a random number of jumbled letters and numbers that would make it extremely difficult for someone to remember at first, it is still just an e-mail address and contains no real starting point for Keven Tapani-level humor. I have also never randomly dated someone with a remarkably similar name as in the case with Katie...this is very fortunate for obvious reasons.
STRENGTHS: Combined OPS (Sheffield, Wells, Vlad, Sizemore): 3465; Combined OPS for Puppies OF's (Damon, Reed, Podsednik, Williams) 2868
WEAKNESSES: pitching; declining infielders; how will leagur changes work out?
OUTLOOK: Steeped in mystery, the fate of Whistles Go WOO remains a mystery. What will Vincent do next? Sounds like a smart advertsing campaign for Daihatsu or I'm not Lee Iacocca. Does anyone get this joke? Am I going all Dennis Miller on the blog or are some of my obscure remarks actually extremely hackneyed? Anyway, back to Vincent's outlook. Resolve league changers, cherish Joe Mauer, find pitching, probably slated for 2nd place in the division but a couple of lucky starting pitchers could push the team to challenge the Shadows.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
461 R 23 2.59 NYN David Wrong
470 R 27 2.54 ChN Aramis Ramirez
471 B 33 2.58 Atl Chipper Jones
474 L 35 2.60 ChN John Mabry (OF 2.05)
heh. t-minus 5 seconds to Slave rant...
Saturday, January 14, 2006
INGLORIOUS 2006 – JANUARY
With the addition of new owners, No Guts, No Glory promises to see renewed life. As such, I have decided to bring back the long-lost Inglorious. I can only hope to surpass the incoherent ramblings of prior author (and poor judge of talent) Michael Cuccaro. At no point in his ramblings did he come close to an intelligent thought. I award him no points (and Dante Bichette) and may God have mercy on his soul.
The Scoresheet player lists are due out any day now. This annual holiday promises to far exceed Boxing Day as a day of celebration. Whose centerfielder’s defense will plummet to 2.06? What nondescript 3B will post a random 2.79? These occasionally inexplicable numbers will bring the first groans and cheers of the year. They also set everyone’s roster and provide for a week of interesting trading scenarios. So how do our NL teams stand at this marginally critical time. Let’s see.
The New York Yankees. A decade of unrivaled success. A blowhard owner. They have it all. They are also unlikely to fade until their magical fountain that bestows seasons like 2005 Roger Clemens or 1996 Ellis Burks or 1998 Greg Vaughn in the nick of time to cover devastating injuries or surging opponents is destroyed.
STRENGTHS: Outstanding pitching; solid offense; best in-season management ( by far); great team defense
WEAKNESSES: Inexplicable fascination for random players like Bruce Chen and 2005 Sammy Sosa; lack of an offensive superstar for 1st time due to…; injury and age-related risk for offensive players.
OUTLOOK: The clear favorite in the Kruk. His age-related difficulties were helped nicely last year with pickups of cough Prince Fielder and Rickie Weeks. So Abubu declined a little and Beltran’s power disappeared and Rolen had a major injury and Edmonds missed some time. He still won it all. Believe it or not, those players have an upside. Possibly losing Clemens will hurt; however, Pedro, Sheets, and Webb are a monstrous trio.
The Red Sox. Have become the main rival of the Homers. Have a trophy but often fall short of expectations. I do not particularly desire to talk about my team as I will inevitably give up some secrets or sound cocky or falsely humble. I do not have Mike’s complete lack of scruples. At any rate, Alan Benes would likely be #29 on this team, a situation that leads to smiles and hair-pulling.
STRENGTHS: Although sure to provoke jeers, I like to think “I am a pretty good judge of talent”; strong, deep rotation; Top 3 players at almost every position; youth with upside; strong, deep starting rotation
WEAKNESSES: Very lackadaisical in-season management; I do not have Bruce Chen so I cannot offer Mike a “trade” to allow us to hold the 20 or so players I wish to keep.
OUTLOOK: A favorite to win the division. Even if I can only hold 15 players, they will be very good players with plenty of upside. A number of trade offers in the works could result in minor upgrades and or draft picks. 6 of 8 starters are 28-30 yrs old and the other 2 are David Wright and 1 of 2 young shortstops with the most power in the NL. Everything is aligned this year and I am under pressure not to blow it.
The LA Dodgers. Strong and relevant a long time ago… I love my cousin Randy. He truly believes in the self-worth of people. To him, anyone can realize his/her vast potential as a human being. Unfortunately, this leads to disasters such as Hiram Bocachica being on your rookie roster long after his chances of a big-league job are less likely than my uncle and I switching political affiliations. On second thought, maybe the Atarijin are more like the Cleveland Indians. “This guy’s dead!” “Then take him off the list…”
STRENGTHS: Firepower for ¾ of the infield; Plenty of holds available for trading for young guns; Intestinal fortitude to deal with Vinny Castilla year-after-year
WEAKNESSES: I am generally a gruff but kind-hearted individual; unfortunately, I cannot be kind here. The most popular massage liquid for the team is embalming fluid. The career years of the starting rotation would be marginally passable for a scoresheet team. Vinny Castilla and Christian Guzman are even worse in Scoresheet than in the ML.
OUTLOOK: Not so good short-term. Upside of .500 is not all that far-fetched, but the team is aging and will not get better. For this reason, I thin Randy should completely rebuild, painful as it is. I would be quite cranky with the scenario but Helton for Fielder, Webb, and Steven Drew would be a good start. The Woofers also have young talent but no great fit with Derek Lee manning 1st. Banishing Guzman and Castilla to 7th hell would improve the team immediately. More research for the rookie draft will help. One can only hope he will hold Matt Bush and Mark Rogers as rookies. A criminal and a guy I never heard of.
The SD Padres. Always have some intriguing talent but can’t seem to take the leap. I have a beef with Ken stemming from the fact that he traded me A-Rod in the AL. I hate A-Rod, I hate the Yankees, and it made me hate my team. Combine this with his status as a division rival and you are creating a volatile mix that could lead to venom spewing from my pen (keyboard). But I won’t do that…Ken seems like good people.
STRENGTHS: In my opinion, Pujols and Jason Bay provide the best 1-2 combo in the league, hands-down. Solid everywhere…offense, defese, farm system
WEAKNESSES: Solid, but not spectacular in any way outside of Pujols and Bay; Team consists of tremendous amount of players whose performances can have huge fluctuations.
OUTLOOK: When I say the rest of Ken’s team is solid, I am describing it as a whole. His core of Smoltz, Wood, Schmidt, Odalis Perez, Wilson, Griffey, and Kearns will provide stiff competition for the Woofers if everything breaks rate. These players can all contend for CY/MVP or 2007 Comeback Player of the Year after injuries or off-years. Ken has a tremendous amount of directions that he can take this team. Keeping it intact or making a number of trades can both be the correct decision. Looks like a tough but fun GM job for 2006 for Smith.
The Minnesota Twins. Consistently fantastic young talent often gets lost in a tangled jumble. The original “rookie GM” has proven much more capable than I first thought. Please reference “Benes. Alan. 19. Number.” on Mike’s website for a refresher. Speaking of which, Carl has the best team logo and team webpage in my humble opinion. A fully appropriate logo for a team with Corey Patterson.
STRENGTHS: Bonds. Berkman. Prior. Ensberg??!! Where did that come from? It pains me to admit it, but I believe that Carl is the best drafter in the league. Carl snatches young superstuds like Rickey snatches flyballs. Rickey thinks Rickey is a great judge of talent. Rickey takes no responsibility for Alan Benes since Rickey had a migraine at the time.
WEAKNESSES: Lack of pitching depth; some infield weaknesses; Occasional overemphasis on youth?
OUTLOOK: Barry Bonds. The fate of the Kings is completely tied to Barry. With Barry (and Prior, Berkman etc.), Carl can make a run at the Homers if everything breaks right. On the other hand, he needs a lot of breaks including Barry’s health and some unexpected performances i.e. John Patterson x3. On the other hand, Carl could trade Bonds; however, it will be extremely difficult to get good value. Since we have grown so attached to our teams for so long, we all correctly value young talent. (Ken will be in his 50’s when Pujols hangs it up – more on this later) This allows for some nice pickups for above average 30’s stars such as say Chipper Jones. On the other hand, no player, Pujols included, matches Barry’s healthy production. Yet Bonds is likely to play only 2 more years. Will Carl be able to go toe-to-toe with the Homers in this timeframe? I do not know…but if not, Carl will get no value for Bonds. So should he trade at a “discount?” Dunno…tough call for the ex-“rookie GM.”
The Florida Marlins. Every Marlin has also played for this team and they are both in a state of flux…ownershipwise, playerwise etc. The team also is very up-and-down, winning championships or drowning in a flooded basement. As these owners are new to the league, I have no (un)interesting stories about them. However, I did date a Katie Dye for a couple of months once. As a once-in-a-lifetime glimpse at my interpersonal affairs, I can tell you that the relationship started with a whirlwind and ended cordially as we went in different directions. Hopefully, this will be the case here…not an affair with Katie but rather a cordial relationship that results in me going to the top as my arch-nemesis division rival plummets. Unfortunately, I am ambivalent. Is this team still an “arch-rival?” How can I not despise the Crooked K franchise though? I am completely torn.
STRENGTHS: A lot of very good players with upside. Extreme flexibility to access multiple leagues for trade options. GM skills are a complete mystery still but trading me Adam Dunn for Moises Alou would prove this team has a savvy GM duo. Alou hit over .300!!
WEAKNESSES: Time. Losing Beckett and Burnett is an unacceptable option unless they work something out with their AL counterpart; however, Delgado’s value does not equal B&B no matter how well he hits. Astronomers were recently puzzled by a black hole with exceptional gravitational pull until the realized it was just this team’s second basemen
OUTLOOK: I am quite jealous of these new owners as they have an opportunity to mold a team in their image. Although we will never have finished products, K & T can work with a much cleaner slate. They have a number of parts to build on or trade and I look forward to seeing what they accomplish.
The Devil Rays. This team has had more overall success and has competed for division titles before; however, Jeff’s ability to pluck incredible player performances out of the blue is not enough. Young guns are one thing but fleshing out your roster with solid talent is necessary to compete on a higher level.
I have a special story set aside for Jeff. He is a great guy who does an outstanding job of setting us up for on-line drafts. I do not know him all that well as I have never met him, but he is always cordial whereas I can get cranky and Mike speaks quite highly of his personal character. Unfortunately, I will never be able to forgive Jeff for the malicious hatchet job he once performed on me. As most of us know, Jeff occasionally weighs his options very heavily in the 17th round of the draft. One year, the extra time that he took resulted in our draft exceeding all league records for draft length as we finished in the wee hours of the morning. As I was living on the east coast, I was exhausted and postponed completing a trade with Ken Smith. Unfortunately, the deal was never consummated.
In this particular year, I had really grown enamored with a minor league player who had never played in the majors. As I have conceitedly mentioned, I am often a very good judge of young talent. In particular, I like players who accomplish things no other minor leaguer has. In this case, I focused in on ALBERT PUJOLS. In fact, Ken Smith agreed to trade me:
Albert Pujols for Derek Lee (who despite his career year is in NO way, shape, or form, Pujols). The hang-up to the deal is that to make it fair, Ken was going to give me ANOTHER PLAYER. Had we finished earlier, I could have worked out the extra player and gone on a merry 20-year adventure with Albert Pujols. Now I will not be able to do so. So despite having no personal beef with the likes of Zambrano or Cabrera, I can honestly say that if these players were to suddenly be vaporized by baseball-hating martians, I would chuckle heartily.
STRENGTHS: Uh Cabrera, Zambrano, and Oswalt are a pretty good start. Jeff can pick hidden youngsters well with his vast pre-draft research.
WEAKNESSES: No depth after his frontline talent; weak outfield; If he kept his interest year-round as he does come draft-time, Jeff could become a force in the league.
OUTLOOK: As Led Zeppelin said, “The Song Remains the same.” Jeff can find young talent. If he focuses more on fleshing out his team, he can compete (as an underdog) this year. If he does this for a couple of years, he can compete on an equal footing with the Homers, who will have a number of players exiting their primes. I would love to see Jeff give it his all so that he can build on his strengths as a GM. He may also be missing opportunities by not initiating or responding to trade offers.
Colorado Rockies. Both teams have tried everything obtaining numerous players that just do not seem to get the job done. Both teams seem to be star-crossed. Year after year, Matt will draft 10 young pitchers and they will all pitch like the Bad News Bears’ Single A farm team. Then Matt will not hold them and they will go all John Patterson or Jake Peavy on the league. Luck = bad.
STRENGTHS: Matt’s infertile soil may be changing as blossoming young players like Myers, Howard, and Utley may fully bloom in 2006. 1st picks in the draft!!
WEAKNESSES: Middle infield; Outfield; pitching depth; No need to harp – these are bad enough situations. Gives up on young talent too soon.
OUTLOOK: Matt must realize that he is a couple of years away from competing for the division and plan his roster accordingly. Trading his young talent is fine but he needs to receive the appropriate talent in return. Matt is a Jekyll/Hyde GM. His AL decisions have been great, but his NL decisions have been tremendously costly. In the past couple of years, he has possessed Patterson, Peavy, Fielder, Weeks, Adam Dunn! Jason Bay! and others. (I may be wrong on a player or two) With these players, his team would have been fearsome as early as this year. His number one goal needs to be obtaining more young talent this year and not releasing it. If a rookie pitcher has a 4.40 ERA but a good K/BB ratio, keep him another year…he may bust out. Using similar analysis with his young hitters will allow Matt to advance in the standings in the coming years.
Using Microsoft Word has given me painful memories of past “gainful” employment. I hope my sacrifice will be well-received.
I may do an Inglorious for the AL; however, I completely embarrassed to bring up my wretched disgrace of an AL team chock full of hated Yankees and the scrubbiest players in the league.
If you have any amusing anecdotes for future issues, please send them along as I hope to pound out future editions all year.
So long for now.
